I think a lot about goals and life trajectory, specifically the correlation between the two.
Some people seem to set their sights on a goal and achieve it; others set their sights on a goal and don’t achieve it but find a path in the process of striving toward a goal; and others follow the flow of life more opportunistically. I believe some years we’re more likely to be able to find that direct route, and other years we’re less likely and have to follow the flow of the river of life.
Still, the process of reflecting at the end of the year and intentionally building on those reflections is a powerful activity. Over the past few years, I’ve found tools and developed a process I find meaningful.
The most important elements for me are the retrospective/review and the intention setting.
RETROSPECTIVE / REVIEW
For the retrospective/review, it’s important to take stock of what you’ve learned and achieved. It’s helpful to go back through calendars, journals, posts, etc. Some questions to ask include:
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- What happened this year? (I recommend listing out key activities, new connections, courses undertaken, projects initiated and completed, etc.)
- Am I reaching my potential? How am I? How am I not? (inspired by Aminatou Sow)
- What were the gravity points of this year that brought the most energy, momentum, connection, meaning, value, etc. to my life? (Inspired by an Instagram post by Jedidiah Jenkins)
- Year Compass also offers good prompts.
PLANNING, GOALS AND INTENTION SETTING
When looking forward, I’m cautious of putting too much emphasis on goals. The reason why is that often times we reach our goals and wonder why we dont feel like we expected we might. We realize the goal wasn’t the answer we thought it was. The goal might have been the right goal, but we could have taken an approach that didn’t quite feel right, or maybe the goal wasn’t right at all in the first place. Many times goals are just milestones on a bigger journey.
There are three pillars for me looking forward to reduce the over-emphasis on goals as THE destination and still have things to aim and stretch ourselves towards:
CORE DESIRED FEELINGS
If we make decisions informed by the feelings we prioritize and what we want to feel and how we want to show up in the world, then the outcome is more likely to align with what we want.
The Core Desired Feelings approach by Danielle LaPorte has been helpful at getting intentional about what I’m striving for and how. (If you know anything about my work, you know I think the HOW is the most important part.)
Fundamentally, it involves asking yourself how you want to feel, using the 5 whys to get to the heart of the desired feeling. (For example: I want to feel: “Successful”. Why1? So that I can have more money. Why2? So that I dont have to worry so much. Why3? So I can have more time to play with my kids. Why4? So I can feel present with my kids… etc. Core Desired Feeling can be present or playful etc. Successful is an ambiguous and changing feeling, asking why to get to the heart of it gets more meaningful, specific, and something you can consciously choose like presence or playfulness.)
Watch this short interview with Marie Forleo where she offers an overview.
GOALS
Just because I think there’s an over-emphasis on goals doesn’t mean they’re not valuable. They are.
It’s constructive to dream big and work from there. Vision boards can be helpful. Thinking about what your core desired feelings look like when realized is also helpful.
Sometimes we can get a little lost in all of the options, or what feels like not many options. A unique way to approach it from Eckhart Tolle is “Instead of asking, ‘what do I want from life?’ a more powerful question is, ‘What does life want from me?’ “
SYSTEMS AND ACTIONS
Chris Guillebeau said “We overestimate what we can achieve in a day, and we underestimate what we can achieve in a year.” It’s because concrete, constructive actions taken over time are collectively powerful.
As with any goal, they should be SMART: specific, measurable, actionable, results-oriented, and time-bound. For us to achieve a goal, it needs to be translated into ACTIONS and SYSTEMS. And this spreadsheet is a helpful start to create your own approach.
Remember your core desired feelings as you create these systems and actions so that the way you work to achieve your goals is the way you want to feel in your life.
Another resource about putting things into systems and actions is the book Atomic Habits by James Clear and his social media content.
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